After you watch this video then try to imagine God, our heavenly father and How much more He will do for us...
"How great the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory"

Well, the year is coming to an end and I cannot wait to get out of my box and move into a real home...

As I drove out this morning, my trusty iPod mini hooked up to my Alpine CDE-9873 played Somewhere in the Middle by Casting Crowns The Altar and the Door CD. As is my habit nowadays, due to the lack of time and workload, I begin my morning with Worship in traffic. It calms my heart, and helps me re-focus the start of each new day on our Lord, God and Creator. The days feel much more bearable and I find strength to carry-on when I do this compared to a few days where I did not.

Of course today was a bit different as I was heading to the KWSP or EPF to withdraw some much needed cash for my new house & studio! This particular song caught on to me and I replayed it a couple of times. It really made me think and somehow I think it accurately describes me and where I am right now. It's trying to decide if I should plan and calculate all probabilities or to trust in God's supreme providence and faithfulness. To rely on my steady income or jump into my passion for photography. To pursue my personal goals and ambitions or who God wants me to be. To having everything to giving everything. No easy answers and not something one can decide or even do overnight or over a year.

Somewhere between the hot and the cold
Somewhere between the new and the old
Somewhere between who I am and who I used to be
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Fearless warriors in a picket fence, reckless abandon wrapped in common sense
Deep water faith in the shallow end and we are caught in the middle
With eyes wide open to the differences, the God we want and the God who is
But will we trade our dreams for His or are we caught in the middle
Are we caught in the middle

Somewhere between my heart and my hands
Somewhere between my faith and my plans
Somewhere between the safety of the boat and the crashing waves

Somewhere between a whisper and a roar
Somewhere between the altar and the door
Somewhere between contented peace and always wanting more
Somewhere in the middle You'll find me

Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender without losing all control

Lord, I feel You in this place and I know You're by my side
Loving me even on these nights when I'm caught in the middle
© Casting Crowns

The day I show up in the office fairly early (earlier than my normal time anyways) and first thing was I saw crowds of people everywhere and for the first time, the Semasa Sentral security personnel deployed at various locations. I asked the guy assisting illiterate people at the season parking boom gate (yes, people cannot read a sign with 16" letters stating "Season Parking Only" and attempt to get a parking ticket where there is no dispenser!) what is going on. He replied "api-lah" in a very nonchalant way. So anyways, I head into my parking and assume it's all a drill.

When I get back up to the ground floor to change elevators to go up to my office, it smells a bit strange and there was an actual fire it seems. So anyways, I was a bit lazy to walk to Starbucks so I head over to Gloria Jeans, get myself a iced coffee and waited out the crowds of hard-working people queuing up to re-enter their offices. And all I could get was this blurry photo with my iPhone.

My Visa card of course, not the 1 Utama ONECard. Anyways, just reflecting the ever reducing consumer purchasing power in this country. Can you believe that's over RM150 in that shopping cart? If you told someone in the US to spend $150 in groceries, they'll end up filling the cart till it overflows. I know I do not buy some of the cheaper stuff but then, a lot of our supposedly "cheaper" groceries are made up of rather poor ingredients like artificial coloring, flavors and all sorts of stuff. I also do not like ice-cream made with palm oil. It makes washing-up difficult but I associate the word "cream" with diary products... and so happens that where I did my undergraduate degree turned out to be the US Diary State! Abundant land of milk and cheese, and oh, ice-cream too!

With all the recent price increases, I'm actually concerned. Really concerned. I'm so blessed that generally, everything is still normal. I can still drive around wherever I want, go for a movie (yeah, yeah, I know I watched ONE movie in ONE year), go find some nice makan place or still buy the stuff I want (this does not include the Lust-list items... Mark you know what this is!) so things are still alright. With my staff however, I feel that they're really feeling it. Imagine having lunch and having to pick only two vegetable dishes at an economy rice stall here in KL Sentral and NOT getting a drink because it'll blow your lunch budget! My goodness! I just couldn't tolerate that for someone in my team so I picked up her drink and lunch tab. Looks like time to get back to arguing with HR for more pay increases due to the recent price hikes.

How time flies. It's middle of May already and I'm still sleep deprived. Work is piling up on all fronts and there seems to be no let-up. New old House renovation plans are still being drawn and finalized while I'm hoping I won't need to sell all my stuff to finance it. Then again, I also can't wait to move out of the 12th floor. Condo living may suit some people but I think I prefer my feet on solid ground and no elevators to ride home. Makes going on vacations and photo shoots difficult too - imagine all the stuff you need to carry out and down and all that! I also seriously miss my two dogs and while I won't be taking them from my parents, I can't wait to have my own! Hopefully I can have a larger work area than my current space, cozy though as it is, there's not enough desk space for my wacom tablet and other stuff.

The May photoshoot got postponed into June and I think I'll try some with my cousin and his new bride if we have time. He's flying in end of this month with my iPhone and I'm wondering whether I should go quad-core on my PC and all that. Ah, but I have to save money for the house. My to-buy list is getting longer and longer. Delayed gratification indeed!

Hope you like my messy desk... hope to have a new workspace for 2009!

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.
~ Psalm 36:5

A twenty-six-word parade of hope: beginning with God, ending with life, and urging us to do the same. Brief enough to write on a napkin or memorize in a moment, yet solid enough to weather two thousand years of storms and questions. If you know nothing of the Bible, start here. If you know everything in the Bible, return here. We all need the reminder. The heart of the human problem is the heart of the human. And God’s treatment is prescribed in John 3:16.
He loves.
He gave.
We believe.
We live.

For God
so loved
the world
that he
gave his
O N E   A N D   O N L Y   S O N
that
whoever
believes
in him
shall not
perish
but have
eternal
LIFE.